Band Baaja Baarat

I decided to sneak out early from office to go and watch Band Baaja Baarat.. The show is only playing at either 11.30am or 5.30pm so not ideal and once again Bollywood takes it precedent ahead of my actual career.

Anyway if anyone from work found out or saw me, then forget watching Band Baaja as it will be my Band Baaja…Anyway, the risk was worth it as the movie is good and excellent times pass

Story is really simple which is why I think it worked well. Shruti (Anushka Sharma) wants to become a wedding organizer so she starts her own company Shaadi Mubarak. Bitooo (New dude) then becomes her partner and together they organise weddings. She starts of by saying that they cannot fall in love as business and love do not go hand in hand as we know what goes hand in hand with business..paisa!..Paisa paisa Paissa (btw I am singing this to the tune of the De Dana Dan Paisa Paisa song).

Ok enough de-tours and back to the movie.. Soon enough though, wait for it..she and Bittoo have a one night stand and she is love with him (Surprise!) but he is not interested as he feels that if they start going out, it will affect their business and hence he plays it cool and cold towards her.

I guess he had to behave that way with her as if not the movie would have ended in intermission only and we do not want that as we are really really enjoying the movie.. So I guess for the sake of the audience, Bittoo could not have been in love with Shruti.. So people if you think that Bittoo is being an idiot for not loving Shruti—remember that this is not the case as this was actually done so that we get more Show time!.. They had to make the movie worth the paisa you spent. ..Paisa paisa paisa (again humming the de dana dan paisa paisa song!)

Back to the movie, Shruti is annoyed with Bittoo and she tells him to leave Shaadi Mubarak (also he does not help his case as he called their one night stand a Session). So Bittoo leaves, he and Shruti become enemies and he starts his own company, Happy Wedding (I wonder what is happy wedding called in Hindi??)

Anyway they soon discover that they are both horrible at their work when they are working alone and the only reason behind their success was that they had each other. Anyway one random client (well not completely random as he was the boss in Rocket Singh) then insists that he will only hire them if they were to work together. They agree and head to Rajashathan to plan this massive wedding.

Bittoo then discovers there that Shruti will be marrying Chetan (some random dude) and he wakes up..Wake up Sid!! …Sorry got a bit carried away—Wake up Bitoo!—He then goes after her and they end up together and voila the end

Now I know the plot sounds really simple but honestly it is a proper masti movie and their acting is very good… Anushka Sharma was really really amazing and this new comer dude was also amazing… And man the music is brilliant… That ainyavi ainvayi song has been stuck in my head all day!. Ok I was lying; the song and the Dhin shak dance moves have been stuck in my head all day!

Definitely worth watching Band Baaja Baarat (BBB).. I will not give it a S&P triple BBB rating though and it will be more like a AAA- rating from me!..

after break ki baad

After a long BREAK from writing, I have decided to take blogging more seriously so next on the list was Break Ki baad… However after watching it, I think I should take a longer BREAK from blogging. Uff teri Adaa!—I like the way you walk but I hate the way the movie turned out!

In my view the only way, this movie might get a decent valuation is through a sum of the parts valuation as there are some parts of the movie which might get a premium valuation and the remainder will be valued at zero. I fundamentally believe that we cannot value this on a DCF (discounted cash flow) methodology, as we might end up with a negative valuation as I for one will be using a negative discount rate on it!

The movie starts with Aaliya (AL) (Deepika Padukone) and Abhay Gulati (Gelato) (Imran Khan) who grow up together and start dating each other from the age of 12 or 14 (do we care?—not really—they fall in love from watching Kuch kuch hota hai—again do we care?—not really— Here the world has to deal with important issues like North Korea vs. South Korea, who is the next guest on Koffee with Karan so honestly no one cares on this BREAK love story).

AL is all cool and happening and basically very chilled out and Gulati needs to make sure that he holds the relationship together. He is a very clingy BF but in a nice way! ... Al has always wanted to be an actress like her mother played by Sharmila Tagore (Sharmila T looks stunning in the movie—she is one of those people where it seems she has spent a lot of capital expenditure on herself in order to ensure that her depreciation is spread over many many many years! ).

AL decides to go to UGC (University of Gold coast) to pursue a degree in Mass Com and she will try and sneak in some acting there. (Yes because we all know in life, we study something and become someone else)... Anyway Gulati is really upset when he finds out that Al is leaving to go to Gold Coast (I guess who will not be?... I am more upset that I am wasting my time watching this bakwass movie—It is time for a Break—Have a Kit Kat)..Anyway she did not even bother to let him know as she wanted it to be a surprise (Are you surprised?.. Ok let’s spend a moment to define what a surprise might be..You finding out your boyfriend cheating on you might be surprised, you finding out that you are pregnant might also be surprised but Gulati finding out AL going to Gold Coast is not a surprise as we do not care—Again me reiterating, I do not care, then again I must finish this movie so I decide to sit there and continue with it—I need another Kit Kat to make the break worth it).

Back to the movie, AL and Gulati then get into a big fight and she insults him because she says that he does not have a life, she is his life and that he is working on a job that he hates (works as an executive in his papaji’s office).. Anyway till now, it has been pretty boring and man their acting is quite poor as well. I mean understandable for Imran as he has not had many movies so understand he may be a bit out of it but Padukone delivers an astonishingly bad performance as well (we expected so much more from her—I thought she was heading towards a perpetual growth state and hence bought a call option on her future but unfortunately I wished I bought a put option on her future!)

Anyway, back to the movie, they agree that she will go to Gold Coast and they will be apart for a year. Then when she goes there, they keep fighting on the phone that they decide it will be best not to speak for one month. One month later he calls her and she is smashed (drunk) and some dude picks up the phone and tells him there is a long queue here for her so get in line… Bang—he jumps on a plane and makes his way to Gold Coast as well. Now this is the best part as the Indian passport needs a visa for everywhere you go, so I guess the embassy gave him a special entry visa overnight!. .Anyway—AL then breaks up with Gulati as she is annoyed he came all the way.. He then says that he refuses to accept the breakup and he will only return to India with her.. She is staying in a house with with Cyrus and X (Sorry cannot remember X’s name in the movie—character is played by Shahana Goshawani). So Gulati stays there as well as there is a spare room and tries to win Al back….

In the mean time, Gulati Gelato realises that he has a career in the kitchen department ( not because of his nickname gelato) and opens a restaurant with Cyrus and X.. He and AL become friends again but Gulati thinks that there is something more to this. Al then gets a movie offer which she refuses as her mother tells her that she will never speak to her if she takes the movie. She then goes back to Delhi (or shlld I say Dillhi pretending to be with it ) leaving Gulati in Gold Coast.. Gulati tells her that she is lucky that she can move on. AL’s mother then caves in and she becomes and actress and in the mean time Gulati is pressing on with his cooking or what ever that he does for a career,, They then meet up after a full year and she tells him to get married and move on.. So he does…..The end. What a different ending!
Oye- did I mention—he marries her of course and then drum roll please..—Oye lucky, lucky lucky oye because the movie has ended!

Ever wished for a Guzaarish?

Compared to the normal jumping (literally and physically) up and down to watch the first day, first show screening of a Bollywood movie, due to unforeseen circumstances (well I was busy moving homes), I watched Guzaarish a week after its release.. How I Guzaarished (wished) I could have seen it earlier...

Well, in short the movie is very depressing. No time soon in the movie, will there be a Barney or Sesame Street scene and it is all rona dhona scenes. Now, you may have noticed how Sanjay Leela Bhansali (SLB) only dresses in black and makes movies titled Black and this movie true to his testament for making depressing movies will suck all the happiness out of you (the movie sort of acts like a Dementor from Harry Potter)… But and lets CAPS LOCK that BUT, the movie is really well made (despite the rona dhona – excellent acting and might win an Oscar (ok—this might be pushing it—it is good but not that GOOD)

Anyway back to the movie—we are introduced to Ethan (Hrithik Roshan).. Ethan used to be a magician and is paralysed now after an accident which you find out in the end happened because his best friend screwed him over (yes people, we live in a cruel world). We are then introduced to Aishwarya Rai, his nurse, who looks after him. The accident took place 14 years ago and since then despite being paralysed, Ethan has lived his life to the fullest, he has written a book, he has a radio show where he motivates depressed people that Life is Beautiful (really?—I think life is a combination of beautiful and ugly just like the universe—nothing is always just beautiful—for all the good—there is an equivalent amount of bad)…Anyway one fine morning, Ethan calls up his friend Devayani (the mother from Black) to come to his house. She is a lawyer and Ethan wants her to file a petition for him. He wants a court consent to proceed with euthanisa or ethanasia as he calls it. Well in his defence, he thinks he has tried his very best and given his circumstances he does not want to continue suffering and wants to be allowed to die!... In the mean time, he gets a new side kick, Omar (Aditya—I think this dude is going to be the next biggest bollywood star) (there is a slight twist with Omar as well—Omar is actually a re-incarnation of an angel that has been sent to earth to cure Hirthiik and reinstates all his magical powers and allows Ethan to lead a normal life again---Bang!—that obviously cannot be true as you may have guessed this is a SLB movie and we cannot have a happy ending and must have a Rona DHONA scene so obviously the twist I just narrated will never happen in a SLB movie—Ok the real twist is that Omar is actually the son of the guy who betrayed Ethan—How boring right?.. My twist is better—I should write movies )… Anyway Ethan and Omar really bond and Ethan teaches Omar all his magic tricks…..

The story then goes on and on (with a lot of heart wrenching scenes) which I cannot write about as I myself am not too sure how to capture these rona DHRONA filmy melodramatic scenes.. Long and short, he loses his petition; court denies him the right to kill himself.. He and Ash are in love with each other, so she agrees to marry him and then agrees to kill him after that. They then have a big send off party that end’s the movie and Ethan’s life as well. The end!

So hmmm.. I guess the big question is should you be allowed to proceed with Euthanasia--- I think and this is just my answer and opinion—Noooo—Ok time to accelerate that caps lock..NOOOO!!...Everyone has a different level of suffering and of (for the rest of you the next sentence might appear to be pure gibberish but an acquaintance of mine will be proud to see that I am using the correct of ) course no two apples are alike or even taste the same. Hence even though you cannot compare my small problems with your big problems and similarly, you cannot compare my silly problems with your heart wrenching rona DHONA problems, there is one thing in common though--- they are still problems and irrelevant on how big or small they are, they will still bother you and hence everyone suffers in their own little way..So never give up and keep fighting!! (Again easier said then done) but I will let you in one little secret—if you do not go through the bad times, then you will never actually truly appreciate and cherish the good times!

Ok—enough bakwaas for now—Go and watch it… it is my humble guzaarish to you! (And no SLB does not pay me a cent to say this!)

KCK-- Pick up the Phone!

Ok—So have not been blogging in a while but have not really seen many Bollywood movies...Watched MNIK but ahmmmm will pass and not say anything on that one

Anyways back to KCK— I think it is pretty good (Am a bit biased because of Farhan)

Movie starts with talented Farhan Akhtar being depicted as LOSER Boy Karthik (LBK)—To cut his description short, Karthik gets bowled out by almost everyone. No one notices him and everyone takes advantage of him. Deepika Padukone (Her name is Shonali in the movie—from memory that was Konkona Sen’s name in Luck by chance—Shonali Bose??—Irrelevant, I know—but what the heck?) works in the same office with Karthik and even she does not notice him

Then we are introduced to Shefali Shah (Karthik’s shrink—Poor LBK thinks he is responsible for his brother’s death. Basically the brother keeps annoying Karthik and he thinks he was responsible for the brother falling into a well!

One fine day ( Ok—Not so fine as Karthik did an all-nighter in the office which we know is not fun and then got a firing from his boss who is a real jack-ass) and so Karthik out of frustration decides to break his phone ( BIG BIG mistake—or shld we say this was the real climax, as he then decides to buy a new phone and kindly notice that he buys a JAPANESE brand phone—We will come back to the Japanese part in a bit but pls KIM (Keep in Mind)

From then onwards, LBK starts getting calls everyday at 5am from Scary Boy Karthik (SBK)..SBK however starts helping LBK and tells LBK that he is going to make everything better for him.. So now LBK becomes Cool Man Karthik (CMK)—Notice that not only the loser has become cool but the boy has also become a Man—Oh yeah!

Now CMK is doing very well in office and guess what??—Shonali has dumped her useless boyfriend and she is with Karthik—UFF tere Adda-- I like the way you move! (Ok-- I have not completely lost it and that is a really nice song from the movie)

There was one rule in SBK calling LBK—SBK warns LBK that LBK cannot tell anyone about SBK’s existence as they will think he is crazy!

But unfortunately, in a moment of weakness, CMK confides in Shonali about this phone calls. Shonali then tells CMK to see a shrink, Shefali Shah who tells CMK that this calls are imaginary and CMK is suffering from Schizophrenia (Well done Shefali!—She has been LBK’s shrink for god knows how long and she has just picked up that something is wrong with him). But Karthik tells Shefali then he is not imagining any of this and he does get these calls from someone!

So Shefali decides to come to Karthik’s house at 4.30 am (She is a dedicated doctor and does night calls  and Bang at sharp 5am, he does get a phone call. Ok, so at this point, the audience are very confused (At least, I was very confused), as everyone thought that he was imagining this calls. So remember the Japanese phone?, Well, at this point, I thought there is a Japanese ghost in the phone--- It looked to be the most sensible explanation—Silly but Sensible)

Deepika comes the next day and the same thing happens---So she tells CMK, that he shld not answer any calls from SBK and from the looks of it, CMK is secretly in love with SBK ( ok—I just made that up!)


The next day CBK (CMK has been demoted to CBK— Chicken Boy Karthik—unfortunately, his man status has also been downgraded to a boy) answers the phone from SBK and SBK is all pissed and tells CBK that he is going to ruin him

And true enough, he is ruined and he loses Deepika and loses his job

The story then drags on a bit because you just really want to know what is going on..

To cut matters short CBK has now become LBK again (He is not loser boy anymore but is now Lost Boy Karthik) and he is really really lost as he himself does not know where he is)—he basically says that he will go somewhere where no one can find him and he ends up in Coachin

Anyways his new boss tells Karthik that he needs to get a phone, so he has to buy one. He goes to the shop and buys a phone and it is the same Japanese phone (at this point, I was sure that it a Japanese phone ghost—I was already giving myself a pat in the back for being able to figure out the plot and I start daydreaming of my career in script writing)

However now the phone does not ring at 5am anymore (The Japanese ghost has become lazy in Coachin—if Karthik is checked out from the world, I guess it is only fair for the ghost also to be checked out)

So Karthik thinks that he is fine and sends an e-mail to Deepika to say that he does not get anymore calls….

In the mean time, Shefali calls Deepika (Yes—Finally she has figured out what happened) and the story is revealed .. The END

Those of you who want to know the ending, pls read below

Basically, Karthik suffers from Schizophrenia and everything was his imagination including the story about his brother—And the calls he was getting was actually just Karthik calling Karthik!!!!!!!!!!..Quick sum up, for those of you who have just scrolled down to the bottom to read the ending as I think I have been over blabbing a bit, LBK=SBK=CMK=CBK (Thank god, I used acronyms, can you imagine having to type so many names for just one person-- phew!).

So basically after spending three hours in the cinema, the plot is basically just the title of the movie “KARTHIK CALLING KARTHIK--VOILA!”… But guess how it was done—the phone has a recording feature—so he used to sub consciously record conversations to himself and he timed it to play at 5am everyday—So unfortunately people , there was no Japanese ghost!!-- There goes my career in script writing!

The whole reason why it was a Japanses phone was unfortunately not to do with the Japanese ghost but only so the audience wld not be able to read the features of the phone..

In the end, he is sort of cured and he lives happily with Deepika and Shefali (She might be doing some of the night calls in case Karthik calls Karthik again )

The end and till my next review=== Ciao Bellas!

Pyaar Impossible—Its Complicated

I thought it was impossible to sit through the whole movie and watch it till the end—Given that I did, I cannot possibly deny that it is just plan horrible

Pyaar impossible was directed by Jugal Hansraj (he makes a small cameo in the movie and you must be really sharp or still awake in the movie to notice him). The story and screenplay was done by Uday Chopra himself. Now given that the dialogues were sooooooooo boring and not funny, it makes me wonder how funny is Uday in real life?. I think he is one Chopras that should just stick to producing as acting does not suit him either (unless if he is given a chance to play Jaddo 2 in a remake of Koi Mil Gaya—does he not look a little bit like Jadoo?—Jadoo hai Nasha)

So the story starts with Uday in college and he is a big geek (Ok I am going to give him some credit for trying out a different role given that he is always doing his body builder roles) . He is madly in love with Priyanka Chopra who doesn’t even notice him
She is then rusticated from college and is sent packing home. The story then moves to seven years (or was eight?—guessing it does not matter as would not have changed a thing) in the future where Uday is still a geek and has created some really great software but this software is stolen by Dino Moreo…Ok—In my honest opinion, the movie shld have just ended here—THE END…This would have just minimized their losses but unfortunately for the poor audience it goes on…Bachna ae audience.. Lo Mein aa gaya!!

Uday then goes to Singapore to find Dino but instead meets ahmmmmmmmmm guess who? You must be really smart if you have guessed who he bumps into.. That’s right, he bumps into Priyanka Chopra who is now a successful PR manager in a software company.. She is also a single divorced mother
Some confusion then takes place (nothing funny again, just plain boring scenes) and Uday is hired to become the nanny to Priyanka’s bratty kid, Tania

In the mean time, Dino is also in Singapore trying to sell his software to the company in which Priyanka works in (And to side track a little, Priyanka’s dressing to work is as though she is going clubbing so that also looked really silly. Priyanka also speaks with a heavy accent throughout the movie which god knows where she picked up from)

And then there is the standard love story between Priyanka and Dino and Uday is on a mission to make his pyaar impossible, “possible” and also to uncover what an idiot Dino is.. But you know what guess who suffers the most in all of this?. It is still the poor audience because man the movie is still going on.

Anyway in the end all izz well (I miss 3 idiots already), the truth is uncovered and Priyanka realizes that she loves Uday (She realizes this through her daughter’s play which Uday helped her daughher, Tania stage—It was bad enough he had to write the script to Pyaar Impossible but looks like he meddled into writing Tania’s play script as well)

Now some classic scenes of the movie
Quite a lot of the movie is shot in Singapore and there are so many scenes where they speak in Hindi to a full blown local Singaporean crowd and the Singaporean crowd pretend to acknowledge and understand what is being said..I am sorry but the last time I checked, most local Singaporeans only speak English or Mandarin. But maybe Pyaar Impossible made it possible for all Singaporeans to speak Hindi as well—Maybe that can be the movie's Unique Selling Point (USP)... “ Pyaar Impossible—Making it possible for Singaporens to speak Hindi”.. Voila!

There is also a constant competition in the movie to see who is dumber..Now I know this sounds easy but they really did put a lot of effort in nailing that point.. So overall well done

Anyways there is nothing else to say except maybe Priyanka Chopra looked absolutely amazing and that’s it

Until next time where hopefully I have watched something half decent, Ciao Bellas!

3 idiots

2010-I thought I would try something different and this has inspired me to write a blog on Bollywood with some themes drawn from the finance world!

3 Idiots

For those of you out there who have not seen it-I suggest watching it ASAP (A term many bankers must detest or at least I know I do-I mean come on - it is not like I am just sitting around twiddling my thumbs in the office-Chill karo yaar--Your work will be done to my fastest ability and enough with the ASAP!

Anyway-back to 3 Idiots. 3 Idiots is exactly what Bollywood needed to end the year with style-Bang with a Buck!
The Raj Kumar Hirani and VidhuVinod Chopra duo never fail to amuse us and once again they have delivered an excellent movie. The movie which is loosely based on a book by Chetan Bhagat has a stellar cast with Aamir Khan in the lead role (Aamir Khan in my view is like a US treasury bond--one of the safest investments that you have and with Aamir lets face it, he is not going to default on his performance). Others include Sharman Joshi, Madhavan, Boman Irani and KareenaKapoor.

To go slightly off track, I was having lunch in Hakkasan yesterday and behind me were Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan. Man they are one good looking couple in real life. Obviously me being such a Bollywood freak, lost complete interest in lunch and started focusing all my attention on them! (But then again, how can you concentrate if you have KareenaKapoor and Saif Ali Khan behind you unless of course you are blind or wearing sunglasses and cannot see them -That is one thing I find very irritating--when people wear sunglasses inside a restaurant-I mean hello is there any sunshine in the restaurant but then again if you are listening to Give Me Some Sunshine (a song from 3 Idiots) then I guess it is acceptable.

Ok-getting back to the movie. The beauty of the movie is that despite Aamir Khan being so fantastic in the movie, the limelight is not just focused on him because the other stars also delivered a fantastic performance with each cast member having a unique role. I must say thatI loved Boman Irani in the movie especially with his 'Life is a Race' lines.

Songs in the movie are also very good with Zoobie Doobie playing in your head over and over again after hearing it once.

Anyways summing it up
Good story, good songs, amazing acting, very entertaining = A good Bollywood movie=Watching it multiple times = 3Idiots

Until the next movie I watch-Ciao Bellas!