after break ki baad

After a long BREAK from writing, I have decided to take blogging more seriously so next on the list was Break Ki baad… However after watching it, I think I should take a longer BREAK from blogging. Uff teri Adaa!—I like the way you walk but I hate the way the movie turned out!

In my view the only way, this movie might get a decent valuation is through a sum of the parts valuation as there are some parts of the movie which might get a premium valuation and the remainder will be valued at zero. I fundamentally believe that we cannot value this on a DCF (discounted cash flow) methodology, as we might end up with a negative valuation as I for one will be using a negative discount rate on it!

The movie starts with Aaliya (AL) (Deepika Padukone) and Abhay Gulati (Gelato) (Imran Khan) who grow up together and start dating each other from the age of 12 or 14 (do we care?—not really—they fall in love from watching Kuch kuch hota hai—again do we care?—not really— Here the world has to deal with important issues like North Korea vs. South Korea, who is the next guest on Koffee with Karan so honestly no one cares on this BREAK love story).

AL is all cool and happening and basically very chilled out and Gulati needs to make sure that he holds the relationship together. He is a very clingy BF but in a nice way! ... Al has always wanted to be an actress like her mother played by Sharmila Tagore (Sharmila T looks stunning in the movie—she is one of those people where it seems she has spent a lot of capital expenditure on herself in order to ensure that her depreciation is spread over many many many years! ).

AL decides to go to UGC (University of Gold coast) to pursue a degree in Mass Com and she will try and sneak in some acting there. (Yes because we all know in life, we study something and become someone else)... Anyway Gulati is really upset when he finds out that Al is leaving to go to Gold Coast (I guess who will not be?... I am more upset that I am wasting my time watching this bakwass movie—It is time for a Break—Have a Kit Kat)..Anyway she did not even bother to let him know as she wanted it to be a surprise (Are you surprised?.. Ok let’s spend a moment to define what a surprise might be..You finding out your boyfriend cheating on you might be surprised, you finding out that you are pregnant might also be surprised but Gulati finding out AL going to Gold Coast is not a surprise as we do not care—Again me reiterating, I do not care, then again I must finish this movie so I decide to sit there and continue with it—I need another Kit Kat to make the break worth it).

Back to the movie, AL and Gulati then get into a big fight and she insults him because she says that he does not have a life, she is his life and that he is working on a job that he hates (works as an executive in his papaji’s office).. Anyway till now, it has been pretty boring and man their acting is quite poor as well. I mean understandable for Imran as he has not had many movies so understand he may be a bit out of it but Padukone delivers an astonishingly bad performance as well (we expected so much more from her—I thought she was heading towards a perpetual growth state and hence bought a call option on her future but unfortunately I wished I bought a put option on her future!)

Anyway, back to the movie, they agree that she will go to Gold Coast and they will be apart for a year. Then when she goes there, they keep fighting on the phone that they decide it will be best not to speak for one month. One month later he calls her and she is smashed (drunk) and some dude picks up the phone and tells him there is a long queue here for her so get in line… Bang—he jumps on a plane and makes his way to Gold Coast as well. Now this is the best part as the Indian passport needs a visa for everywhere you go, so I guess the embassy gave him a special entry visa overnight!. .Anyway—AL then breaks up with Gulati as she is annoyed he came all the way.. He then says that he refuses to accept the breakup and he will only return to India with her.. She is staying in a house with with Cyrus and X (Sorry cannot remember X’s name in the movie—character is played by Shahana Goshawani). So Gulati stays there as well as there is a spare room and tries to win Al back….

In the mean time, Gulati Gelato realises that he has a career in the kitchen department ( not because of his nickname gelato) and opens a restaurant with Cyrus and X.. He and AL become friends again but Gulati thinks that there is something more to this. Al then gets a movie offer which she refuses as her mother tells her that she will never speak to her if she takes the movie. She then goes back to Delhi (or shlld I say Dillhi pretending to be with it ) leaving Gulati in Gold Coast.. Gulati tells her that she is lucky that she can move on. AL’s mother then caves in and she becomes and actress and in the mean time Gulati is pressing on with his cooking or what ever that he does for a career,, They then meet up after a full year and she tells him to get married and move on.. So he does…..The end. What a different ending!
Oye- did I mention—he marries her of course and then drum roll please..—Oye lucky, lucky lucky oye because the movie has ended!